amandajhouston My first born, Sloane Ruby.
I had the opportunity to do some work with AutoCamp at their Yosemite location. Although we started to plan the trip as a whole family, the 4 of us, it turned in to a trip for just Sloane and I – my 3 year old, my first born.
Sloane has felt the attention drift away as we welcomed our second in December 2022. Her excitement to be a big sis, and to welcome a baby in to our family, was so genuine and pure. But to see the arms of her mom be more full, taken up by a baby, it was difficult for her to understand at times. We’ve read what typical behaviors to look for in older siblings and we were fortunate to not experience any of the extremes, and to be honest, barely any of the little examples that were given. We do take turns spending small 1:1 time with her, going on an outing or doing something she enjoys. We’ve also taught her to say “put down” when she started to feel upset if she wanted us to put the baby down so our arms could be free. But here we are, now 9 months later, and she still- we still- are learning what it means to be a family of four.
It was different this time around to think about being away from my infant. I had all the emotions when Sloane was an infant in regards to being away from her (church, babysitter, even my husband as I ran errands) – I felt like I had to always rush back to her. This time around, I still felt uneasy but I was more confident. I had peace knowing that everything was going to be ok. I also was motivated by really wanting to make the trip special with Sloane, and I tried to live in that head (and heart) space while we were away.
Time, especially as a mom of littles, slips away too quickly. If you ever thought about doing a longer 1:1 trip (or longer outing) with your first born, I encourage you to make it happen, carve out that time. This is your sign! Do it! I’m also encouraging myself as I write this to not make this 1:1 time a one-time thing, but find time more frequent, more regular scheduled time to spend special and intentional 1:1 time with her. The moments I had with Sloane as an infant, briefly as an only child, was so special. Taking this trip was well needed, a way to show her she is still her mama’s special girl.
